Chocolate Jokes

A collection of our favourite chocolate jokes from around the internet

Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why?
Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one.

Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A: Because no one wants to quit.

A man found a bottle on the beach. He opened it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! There was a million dollars. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! There was a convertible. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women... Poof! He turned into a box of chocolates.

Plump lady to the waitress: I'd like Death by Chocolate for dessert, but only enough to put me in a critical condition.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Imogen who?
Imogen life without chocolate!

An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate truffles wafting up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. He slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and, with even greater effort, forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favourite chocolate truffles.
Mustering one final effort, he threw himself toward the table. His aged and withered hand painstakingly made its way toward a truffle when it was suddenly smacked by a spatula. "Stay out of those," said his wife, "they're for the funeral."

Date: 18/01/2011